


Trouble with the Curve

by Clever_Girl_22



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hidan and Kakuzu fighting with Fuu...guess you can call them the Fuu Fighters, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, M/M, Retcon, Snowball Fight, Team as Family, cuz all I do is retcon things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27951869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clever_Girl_22/pseuds/Clever_Girl_22
Summary: They were on the run, that's all. They were homeless, unguided, and incredibly out of character; it was drastic and almost frightening, if honesty was still something of value.But they had each other. It would have to be enough.
Relationships: Fuu & Nanabi | Seven-tails | Choumei, Fuu of Takigakure & Hidan (Naruto) & Kakuzu (Natuto), Hidan & Kakuzu (Naruto), Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	1. Revelations

**Author's Note:**

> In which Hidan discovers what it is about Kakuzu that makes him so damn happy...and that Fuu has an absolutely devastating long-shot.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> Just a fluffy ficlet for a mini event...I haven't written Fuu yet but I like the thought that somewhere in another universe the trio just dropped what they were doing and banded together, for better or worse 
> 
> It slaps; it vibes. Let's go Fuu Fighters.

**_"Motherfucker!"_ **

Hidan sat--squatted, actually--under a pine tree, shivering under a clump of fallen snow. They had been on the road for almost three weeks, ducking under forest cover, lurking in the twilight, and hightailing it as far away from Amegakure as physically possible. Pein for sure had sent goons after them, no doubt. Thus, the rare chances to take a dump with privacy. Or, that was the goal, at least. Hidan ridded himself of the snow with a violent shake of the head.

"Can't a guy poop in peace? _Sweet Jashin!"_ He growled, giving up and standing erect.

They had only come to Yukigakure on a whim; Kakuzu _hated_ the cold and had offered to take them to one of his broker's dwellings, but had decided against it for one particular reason: Fuu. She would be too vulnerable a target; they _all_ were, to be fair. Cursing up a storm, Hidan yanked his pants back up, kicked the tree's truck with malice, and stomped back to camp. 

"Can't even take a shit...fucking unreal..."

Camp was less than ideal: because they were on the run, food rations were dished out by stealing from unsuspecting markets, while in contrast shelter was provided solely by caves, crevices, and (if they were lucky) the occasional abandoned hut. Recently, the trio had been forced to reside in the forest, finding warmth only by sleeping together while Kakuzu's hearts stood guard. In fact, this was how Hidan found the others: Kakuzu and Fuu slumbered silently, the bigger fugitive curled protectively around the Jinchuriki. 

Alright, Kuzu, move the fuck over," Hidan mumbled, "I'm cold as balls and don't wanna wake the kid."

The Jashinist tried to wedge his way in between Fuu and Kakuzu, but before he could get down and comfortable, Kakuzu suddenly grabbed his ankle.

 _"Don't,"_ He warned, "You will wake her and then I _will_ throw you off a cliff. Take the other side."

Hidan rolled his eyes, but obeyed.

"Heh, like you _actually_ would throw me off a cliff...you dumb lug..."

"Don't test me."

"I can't make any promises. Prick."

Hidan shimmied himself into a comfortable position, bookending Fuu on the opposite side. The tarp they had stolen back in Konoha was ragged and worn, but proved far better than sleeping on the cold ground. Hidan pulled one of their cloaks further up, using it as a blanket over him and Fuu; the Jinchuriki was dozing pleasantly, her back pressed to Kakuzu's chest while she faced the other immortal's front. Hidan smiled in spite of himself--this actually was quite nice, for a change. No running, no hiding, not fighting (except the routine arguments)...it was almost too perfect to be his. Sighing, Hidan's reached an arm over Fuu and gently tucked Kakuzu's head to his, closing any gaps that would send chills to their charge.

 _'She_ **_is_ ** _kinda, cute, I guess.'_

It had amazed Hidan how quickly his partner had decided to drop their mission; seeing Fuu, in her village's apparel, wearing a waterfall insignia and under the restriction of a negligent ruler must have stirred something in Kakuzu, something even _he_ might not have know existed. They had been on her tail for a few days, catching wind from Konan that the Jinchuriki was passing through their location, leaving in haste after a rather disruptive round of Chunin Exams. Naturally, Hidan assumed they would've been simply leaving her near-death, but one look at Fuu and Kakuzu had stalled. 

And Kakuzu _never_ stalled.

Dare he believed it, but Hidan was beginning to see a small sense of empathy breach all those walls his partner was persistent in putting up. It started often at night, when Fuu was asleep, and Kakuzu would wordlessly slip next to him, linking them together in more ways than one. It baffled Hidan--he had only known Kakuzu as stoic and angry, yet now the immortals slept every night together, mouths inches from each other. It was _confusing!_

Hidan ran a few fingers through his partner's hair, watching the older immortal wince everytime he snagged a knot. They hadn't been able to shower or groom in forever, it felt. Yet, staring at Kakuzu, the Jashinist felt his immortal heart jump and vibrate in ways he didn't realise were possible for a lowlife like him. Sure, he was a literal godsent, but he had never thought he could feel things, more or less whatever was brewing within him now. Before, Kakuzu was simply his partner; they watched each other's backs, did their job, and that was that. Now, Hidan couldn't help but want more...

"Hidan, what are you staring at?"

Kakuzu's voice came through thickly in Hidan's mind, stirring him from his thoughts. In response, he smiled brazenly and reached out to touch his chin.

"You, of course." He said slyly, "Who else's ugly-ass face could captivate me so much?"

Hidan relished the look in his partner's other-worldly eyes, and was just about to reach for a kiss when they both felt Fuu stir between them. The two ex-Akatsuki members gazed at her and exchanged a rather guilty look; maybe another time. Kakuzu pulled one of the cloaks further over her, exposing himself to the cold so she could be up to her chin in warmth. In response, Hidan did the same, watching the muscles in Kakuzu's arms and shoulders wistfully. 

_'What is it even about him?'_ He pondered, _'The old fuck must finally be falling apart.'_

Suddenly, Fuu shook awake, abruptly sitting up. Kakuzu was erect in an instant, Hidan following suit. There was an uneasy look in the young fugitive's eyes that Hidan felt agitated by. 

"I thought I heard something...I'm sorry." Fuu said softly.

"It's alright. Are you ready to get moving?" Kakuzu replied, glancing around them quickly, perceptively.

Hidan caught his gaze and nodded a curt response, jumping to his feet and gathering their humble belongings together for travel. Besides the tarp, they had their cloaks and a few stolen canteens for water--nothing more, nothing less. Those on the run from the Akatsuki couldn't spare the extra luxuries of travel.

Hidan couldn't help but laugh; damn, he _missed_ those idiots. Kisame, Deidara, Konan, Sasori and Itachi and Pein (Or Nagato or whatever the fuck his name was)...even Zetsu! He missed them; they were family, in a twisted sort of way. They had wanted him when nobody else had. The younger immortal stood for a second and stretched his arms and back, watching intently as Kakuzu gruffly told the Jinchuriki to take a smaller cloak he had apparently stolen, while the girl stubbornly insisted against it. Hidan smirked to himself; what a trio indeed. No wonder Tobi was after them now.

"Oi, Kuzu, where're we getting food from today?" He asked.

Kakuzu shrugged, "Wherever we find it."

"But that isn't going to be for _hours,"_ Hidan groaned, "Fuu; ask your bug-friend if it can sing or some shit to find food."

The shinobi trudged downhill, sifting through the trees as quickly as they could go.

"Choumei is closer to the _Coleoptera_ order; they can't communicate very loudly," Fuu replied, "If he was closer to the _Orthoptera_ order, then he'd have the right tibias for what you're thinking of."

Kakuzu hummed a sound of approval while Hidan scowled; maybe Kakuzu liked Fuu so much because she was smarty-pants. Fuu grinned cheekily in response and shrugged.

"Besides, we're in the middle of a coniferous forest, which means--"

"--which means there's a smaller insect population here than deciduous forest and it's too cold," Hidan interrupted, "You already _told_ us, tree-hugger."

Fuu stuck her tongue out at him, which the Jashinist returned with equal vigor; Kakuzu growled something under his breath about immaturity. 

"Hidan, don't be a dumbass; it's getting old. And Fuu, please, try and be _nice_ to the dumbass...he's been in a pissy mood lately and _apparently_ isn't over it yet."

"Hey, I'll _show_ you pissy!" Hidan snapped, "You try taking a shit when there's _fucking_ _**flurries** _ raining down on you!"

"Well, maybe you should plan ahead next time when we make a stop near a village." Kakuzu replied, not turning.

Fuu giggled while Hidan huffed out a few insults, all which he truly didn't mean on the inside. He knew his partner was just trying to look out for him--for them--it just was what is was for the time being. Hidan smirked to himself, watching Kakuzu lead them out and onto a worn path in the snow. 

_'He's just hiding himself, like always.'_ He told himself, backing the trio as they continued into the early day.

************************************

After about an hour or so of walking, the fugitives found breakfast: an unguarded Hidden Snow outpost, brimming with fresh fruit and water reserves. The trio was relieved, taking precautions to watch for shinobi as they hastily packed away as much as they could carry. They'd eat somewhere less conspicuous. By noon, they were off once more, trekking through the snow as fast as they could. The goal was to find cover for the rest of the day, only moving when necessary; the Akatsuki may not follow them this far, but both Hidan and Kakuzu knew Tobi would still search for them. And as for Fuu...well, he'd kill them to get to her. And _that_ simply could not be allowed. 

After some time, Hidan pointed out a clearing in the woods that was near a lesser cave, trudging over with Fuu before Kakuzu could stop either of them. The younger immortal knew an opportunity when he saw one, and dammit, he wanted a roof of some sorts over his head for a change. Once they were settled, the trio of fugitives set up their meal, using their tarp as a makeshift picnic blanket.

"So, what is the plan?" Fuu asked, mouth full of watermelon.

Hidan looked up from his meal in response; what even _was_ the plan? He stole a glance at Kakuzu, who was as unreadable as ever.

"We stay in hiding," The older immortal affirmed, "The Akatsuki will be looking for all of us; we _cannot_ be caught."

"Well, yeah, no shit." Hidan mumbled.

"Can't we head to Konoha?" Fuu suggested, "They like their Jinchuuriki and you guys both disbanded from the Akatsuki--we could claim sanctuary there!"

Kakuzu shook his head, "They will not take us in."

"Why not?"

"Because, in their eyes, _we_ are still villains."

He gestured to himself and his albino partner; Hidan saw the look of disappointment in Fuu's eyes and and instinctively threw an arm around her thin shoulders.

"Hey, ladybug, we'll be _fine,"_ He said, "We can take care of our own asses! Kakuzu and I fight like goddamn _monsters_ , so you'll never be in any _real_ trouble."

He gave her the most sincere smile he could muster, noting how Kakuzu's eyes softened in their exchanged gaze.

"Hidan is right. We can take care ourselves." He repeated.

"Swear on Jashin!" The younger immortal added.

Fuu still looked disheartened, but said nothing more, daintily munching through the rest of her share. Hidan shuffled himself closer to Kakuzu and leaned against him, hooking his arm around the older immortal's knee as he sat on a slight ledge above him. Where, indeed, _would_ they go? Tobi could surely find them, sooner or later, and what then? The pair had already discussed plans, late at night when Fuu slept safely, about how they needed to kill the asshole, but living a life on the run could only work for so long. They needed to have time to enjoy themselves, to not be fearful of the next move. Hidan bumped his head against Kakuzu's knee affectionately, earning him a few gentle strokes in his hair.

And how would Hidan better understand his partner? Their dynamic was no longer what it used to be--didn't they deserve the chance to figure that out? Sure, they quite literally had all the time in the world, but Hidan's bafflement with Kakuzu--his mood, his actions, his intentions, his general disposition regarding the Jashinist--all were eating away at Hidan recently. Where was this sudden stream of softness coming from? Kakuzu rarely indulged in telling him stories of old, which left much speculation in Hidan's eyes. It was way too fucking _frustrating_ and only grew more confusing watching Kakuzu instinctively care for Fuu.

"Hidan, I am going to take a walk," Kakuzu said softly, "Don't do anything overtly stupid."

With that, the older immortal leant and pressed a small kiss against Hidan's forehead and rose, telling Fuu the same. Once he left, the Jinchuriki's disposition immediately soured; Hidan couldn't help but investigate.

"The fuck's bothering you?" He asked.

Fuu sighed and cracked some of her knuckles.

"You guys underestimate me," She stated, "Choumei and I work _real_ well together. We could make a life different than...than _this."_

Fuu gestured at the cramped cave around them, accenting her point as she pointed at the ratty tarp and damp Akatsuki cloaks.

Hidan sighed, "He's just a bitch about things, sometimes. He's so damn protective."

"But I can take care of myself! I've _been_ taking care of myself, in a sense." Fuu objected.

In an instant, Hidan decided to enlighten her to a disheartening confession. 

"Fuu, sweetheart, lemme telling you something," He stated, "Do you know _why_ exactly we ran into you?"

The Jinchuriki squinted, then shook her head; for all she knew they had stumbled upon her on a whim.

"Well, our boss told us to come kill you--I was planning on sacrificing you, actually..."

"Wait, _what?"_ Fuu demanded, "But we're getting along so well! You guys are my friends, now."

Hidan nodded and picked out a grape to eat, rolling it in his fingers in thought.

"True, we're all tight as Hell _now,_ but you've seen us fight; we're pretty fucking dangerous."

They sat there, Fuu growing silent once more. The truth was, Hidan knew just as much about their future as Fuu did; it scared him, really. They were just the shinobi world's trash, just some junk left to rot until some scavengers picked them off. There was no clear path for them.

"Then, why did you spare me?" Fuu asked quietly.

Hidan opened his mouth to answer, but paused. He shouldn't have been to one answering this. 

"Because, kid, you're pretty neat," He said, "And...shit...I care about that greedy, old bastard."

It was the first time the Jashinist had ever really admitted his feelings towards Kakuzu, and, in all honesty, he was relieved. Hidan felt a weight lift from within him and absent-mindedly fingered his rosary once more; he _did_ care about his partner, more than he ever thought possible. Because the man made him feel safe, made him feel wanted, made him feel--

"So you are happy with all of us together?' Fuu questioned, picking away at the rind of her melon slice.

Hidan leant back and crossed his legs, humming as if he had been struck by an epiphany. 

_'Damn, I guess I am.'_ He mused.

"Yeah, I guess so...hey, ladybug, wanna fuck around with the dipshit when he comes back?"

Hidan applauded himself internally as he watched the frown on Fuu's face melt into an evil grin.

"Of course!"

************************

The devious pair carefully climbed to the top lip of the cave, gathering as much snow as they could and waiting for Kakuzu to return from his walk. The plan was an all-out onslaught, showering the older immortal with as much snow-power as they could muster. Hidan squatted on the ridge, packing snowballs; Kakuzu would be _fucking livid._ Fuu sat at his side, breathing light into a few snowballs to blindside their companion upon his return. After a half hour or so of waiting, they spot their target, ducking down instinctively in hopes of a perfect ambush.

 _'Fuck, he looks tired...'_ Hidan realized, squinting at his partner.

From what he could see, Kakuzu looked nothing like the man he pined for; he was tired, he was sluggish, and he was weary. It was almost as if Kakuzu needed a break. Hidan set his face, determined.

"Ladybug," He whispered, "Let's make sure Kakuzu has a _blast_ of a day, mkay?"

"Oh, for sure, for sure!" Fuu replied excitedly.

They lied in wait as Kakuzu approached the cave's entrance, never noticing his assailants above. Hidan watched him peek in, walk around, and eventually call their names a few times. Then, the older immortal huffed a few curses and sat, sifting through the remaining food for his share of the meal. 

" _Argh,_ the fuckface is out of shot." Hidan grumbled.

"Not quite..."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I can hover out for a clear shot--watch."

Like lighting, Fuu shot off the cliff, leaving a stunned Hidan goggling as her archer path and dive bombed straight into the cave; Kakuzu never stood a chance. The first snowball smashed into the rock behind him, bursting into such intense light that he ducked down instinctively for cover. Then, Fuu launched a few more shots, rifling off both her left hand and right hand at an inhuman speed.

"What the **_Hell_** is going _on?!"_ Kakuzu demanded, ducking and rolling behind a ledge.

"Hidan said you needed to have a fun day!" Fuu cried, "So, let's _have_ _fun!"_

She let loose another light-filled snowball, barely missing the top of Kakuzu's head; Hidan sat on the ledge, cackling and cheering the Jinchuriki on as she launched more and more icy missiles from her stash. Eventually, Kakuzu dipped out of sight, forcing Hidan to peek over the ridge and investigate.

"Hey _asswipe!_ Come out, come _out!"_ He sang, hanging upside-down, "What, are you _scared_ of us? Are you _afraid_ we could kick your crusty, withered-up ass? Cuz you _know_ bug-girl here and I can mess your shit up _so_ _bad--"_

In a split second Hidan crumpled to the floor, a snowball smashed into his face. 

**_"Ow!_ ** What the absolute **_fuck_ ** was that, Fuu?"

"It wasn't me!" The Jinchuriki objected.

Kakuzu had somehow retreated to the outside, slipping past Fuu and Hidan's radars without any detection. He grinned evilly; Hidan couldn't help but stare, dumbstruck. The sunlight made his partner's eyes even more rapturous. 

_'I think I love you.'_

The thought popped into the Jashinist's head so suddenly, so profoundly, that he didn't even have time to process it; Kakuzu charged and tackled him, sending the duo down the slope and into an endless sea of snow. And as they fell, Fuu laughing at them in the distance, Hidan finally pieced together what it was about Kakuzu that was so damn alluring: Kakuzu had a heart within--no matter how deeply buried--that cared for him. Kakuzu _cared_ about Hidan, just as he did for him. And that was all the young immortal had ever wanted. They tumbled to the base of the hill, laughing and swearing at each other, deeply lost in their conjoined space.

"You fuckturd, I'm gonna beat your bitch-ass so _hard_ you won't even be able to _walk!"_ Hidan snapped.

They landed with Hidan pinned under Kakuzu, the older fugitive leering over his partner, inches from his face.

"Not if I beat _yours_ first!" He growled playfully.

And then Hidan grabbed Kakuzu's face and kissed him, long and hard, digging his fingers into his partner's hair and twisting their legs together. He hadn't realized it before, but Hidan had been waiting for this--he waited for a sign, an admission, a reply to his feelings and what they would _do_ with each other. Who cares if their world has turned upside down? They had an unlimited amount of time, an adorable companion, and all the world to see! And they had each other. So what if Tobi came after them? The trio would thrive as they were now. Kakuzu broke from their kiss, a faint trail of saliva joining their mouths in the foggy cold.

"Kakuzu, I care about you. And I care about the kid," Hidan blurted, "So, let's just enjoy what we got for now, okay? We can kick anybody's punk-ass any time we have too."

Kakuzu hummed in agreement, then softened his gaze.

"You know we are _all_ that we have left for each other." He murmured.

Hidan nodded; he didn't care why they were here, why they had joined forces with an inexperienced shinobi-Jinchuriki, why they were on the run from the only home they knew; he just cared that they were _here,_ together.

I _know_ , Kuzu, I know! And we'll be fine," Hidan affirmed, "Absolutely, fan-fucking-tastically fine-"

**_WHOOSH!_ **

A snowball landed straight-smack into the side of Kakuzu's head, knocking both him and his partner further down the slope. From above, Hidan heard a buzz-like chirping sound from Fuu as she laughed at them. 

"Should we teach her a lesson?" He smirked.

Kakuzu shook the snow from his hair as they both glanced upwards, the older immortal's cheek red from the sudden impact. He met Hidan's expression with a rather mischievous sneer.

"Oh, _absolutely_ , my little Hidan, absolutely."


	2. Sleep Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kakuzu feels slightly touch-starved and Hidan's ready to provide.

"Can you _please_ go to sleep?"

"But I'm not tired."

"Well, _I_ am."

"Like I give a fuck."

Fuu slept in the corner of the room, her body cocooned in a pile of blankets despite the summer heat; it had been pouring in Kirigakure for almost a week now and the trio had found a trove of abandoned shacks near the coast. On the floorboards, Kakuzu laid next to Hidan, nothing covering them except a rag of a blanket left behind. Outside, the sound of storms and waves vibrated in the soggy air.

Kakuzu rolled over to his side, facing away from his partner, "I'm going to break your hand if you poke me one more time. Go to sleep."

"Why are you being like this, hm?" Hidan demanded, "Why are you being so fucking _pissy_ all of a sudden?"

Kakuzu snorted and ignored him, curling up closer against himself. Outside, the wind howled and rain pelted through one of the broken windows, the draft ushering in a devastating chill. In truth, Kakuzu sincerely didn't mean to act so cold. Sure, Hidan was aggravating as Hell and grabby and _very_ intrusive, but, for once, the older immortal wasn't trying to push him away. He needed him, actually.

"I'm always like this, so what's your point?"

But he for some reason didn't want to show it.

"You're just a bitch, you know, a _real_ bitch." Hidan sighed obnoxiously.

He then yanked their blanket from Kakuzu's legs, leaving the other man to lay in only his underwear. Kakuzu cursed and pulled his legs closer; if anyone was a real bitch, it was Hidan. Running his mouth, getting the three of them into trouble when there was no need, complaining about _every goddamn thing_ they had to do. It wasn't like Kakuzu had a choice about Fuu--she was, what? Fourteen? Sixteen? She was just a kid, and kids shouldn't have to be forced through this system. 

_'Well, I did have a choice. I made this call; I've killed kids before.'_

But Fuu, for some reason, was a little different: watching her wear that stupid waterfall insignia, flaunting bright eyes and the same earthy skin tone as him and Kakuzu felt something _protective_ in him stir. Like she was his to watch over...Kisame would say it was parental instinct. Sasori would say it was some sign of a possession complex.

Kakuzu felt his lips twitch upwards; those bastards where probably out searching for him and Hidan at this very moment. Kakuzu would be lying if he said he didn't miss them, however. They were all freaks, but at least they looked out for each other. Fuu hummed something in her sleep and buried herself deeper, her soft snores sounding like a cricket chirping.

"Hey, for real, are you, like, okay?" Hidan asked.

They were now both back to back, neither looking at one another. Kakuzu gazed at the slumbering Jinchuriki and scowled; he'd be damned if he relented and came to Hidan. The little prick would gloat for the rest of the night and he'd never hear the end of it.

"I'm fine. Go to sleep."

But there was something hollow, something barren Kakuzu felt from within and suddenly he wanted to punch something. He had been alive for far too long to feel...lonely. He had been alone his whole life! It was a natural remedy for betrayal and failed promises, so why should he ever feel this...this _emptiness_ that had suddenly come into the room and grabbed him? No, this was not something that was appropriate for him anymore.

But regardless, the aching in his hearts was too much; begrudgingly, Kakuzu turned over to face Hidan's back and tentatively stretched an arm out to hook him closer. Hidan yelped with surprise and fought the older man's pull.

"The fuck you think you're doing?" He snapped, "You can't just ignore me one minute and then cuddle me the next!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes upwards and groaned, "Shut up before you wake Fuu. Besides, you enjoy this--don't complain."

"Oh, _fuck_ no. We're addressing this right now." Hidan hissed.

He pushed away from Kakuzu, the floor creaking as the Jashinist sat up and turned to face his partner. Kakuzu growled and threw away the blanket, leaving both immortals exposed to the wind.

"Addressing _what?"_ Kakuzu demanded, "What is it _now_ that you need to bitch about?"

Hidan scrunched up his face angrily, "We need to address the fact that ever since that kid has come into our lives, you've been different and you're not fucking telling me _why._ I thought we were a fucking _team,_ Kuzu, a goddamn team--"

"We are, dumbass; you don't understand life like I do; we are _running for our lives_ because we--because _I_ \--made a careless decision!" Kakuzu shot back.

Inside his chest, the rest of his Hearts were starting to squirm; he was losing his temper quick and at any minute the masks would burst off. Slowly, Kakuzu inhaled a sharp breath of air, the rain chilling every follicle inside him and causing the older immortal to shiver ever so slightly. He hated the cold. And Hidan must've noticed; he grabbed the blanket they were sharing and stuffed it out, his violet eyes a mixture of concern and aggravation.

"Use you're fucking--what's bothering you." He demanded.

Kakuzu shook his head, "Nothing. I'm tired from corralling your ass and keeping all three of us fed and sheltered."

"Bullshit and you know it."

The Hearts continued to writhe, the creatures now thrashing against his skin as Kakuzu tried his best to control him. Under no circumstances, did he want them to wake up and scare Fuu, and under no circumstance did he want the Hearts to hurt Hidan. Kakuzu started to fidget his fingers, digging into the palm of his hand with his nail; the polish had chipped ragged and his cuticles had grown out the rest. Meanwhile, Hidan's were as pristine emerald as ever. Kakuzu closed his eyes and tried his best to get his not agitated breathing under control. Under no circumstances was he going to snap, no matter _how_ _badly_ he wanted to...

"Dammit, dude, just _come here."_

Hidan crawled over and embraced him, holding Kakuzu tight by his shoulders. For a second, Kakuzu thought his back was going to burst from within, the threads inside coiling and wriggling faster with every anxious breath he took. But Hidan didn't seem to mind, his fingers gracing over each mask as he mumbled something soft into the older immortal's collarbone. Slowly, Kakuzu returned the hug and gripped his partner tightly, their skin and stitches snagging against each other lightly.

"Don't fucking hide shit from me, alright?" Hidan whispered, "Don't _do_ that shit. Whatever it is, I don't care."

He rearranged and sat upon his knees to better reach the older man, Kakuzu nodding slightly as he ran his hand against the Jashinist's hair and scalp.

"I can handle any shit you throw at me."

Kakuzu rumbled out a small laugh, "Hidan, perhaps I don't want to tell you some things. Unlike _others,_ I value my privacy."

Hidan kissed his temple, the brush of albino lips making Kakuzu thrum with ease.

"That's fine too! Just, like--sweet Jashin--we've _talked_ about this before, you bottling up all your shit. Do I gotta _beg_ you to take fucking care of yourself?" Hidan replied.

"You have absolutely no right to talk." 

"Hey, at least I admit I'm an emotionally dysfunctional bastard. Take some lessons, would you?"

"Fine, then."

Kakuzu yanked both of them back to the ground, laying tangled together on the stiff floorboards. Suddenly, he just _ached_ for Hidan to share his body heat with him; he ached to hold onto and be held, to feel something soft and human and nothing like the bitter, cold mood Kakuzu always had. He ached for his partner to just lay there with him and do nothing else but deliver some sort of distraction from all the turmoil literally living inside him. How could he hate Hidan when--despite every argument and disagreement and fight--the man had stayed by his side? How could he hate the one person who still somehow believed in him?

"Hidan," The older immortal whispered, "Can we just... _hold_ each other?"

The Jashinist's eyes lit up, "Well of-fucking-course!"

He turned his snowy body to better face Kakuzu, twisting their legs together tighter. Hidan then wrapped his arms around the older man's torso and pulled him into a firm yet welcoming embrace. In an instant, he felt a weight lift off his chest as Hidan layered kiss upon kiss on his hairline, forehead, and browline, the younger immortal craning his neck to reach while Kakuzu bowed his head in. And they stayed like this for a while, Hidan muttering soothingly and playing with the older immortal's hair while Kakuzu hugged him by the neck closer to his chest. This--this right here--was all he wanted. No running, no fighting, just some peace and quiet with the only two people he really cared for now.

The cuddling soon transgressed to kissing, the two fugitives sharing their mouths and breaths while their other charge slept on oblivious. Every once in a while, Hidan would rub against Kakuzu's hip suggestively, earning a few hums of approval or interest.

"When even _was_ the last time we've done stuff?" Hidan mused, throwing his leg over Kakuzu's hip.

The older immortal's throat vibrated with approval, "Too long."

"It's been, like, what? Two, three months? Fuck, I'm horny."

"There's no way in Hell we're doing that with _her_ here."

"Why not? We can be quiet."

_'We absolutely cannot,'_ Kakuzu thought, _'Not even if we tried.'_

Regardless, he dipped forward and kissed Hidan again, this time a little more aggressively; Hidan bared his teeth with delight. But, before they could even move to strip the other of their underwear, a tire voice came from the other side of the room.

"Aren't you guys cold?"

Fuu emerged from her cocoon blurry-eyed and half-awake, a handful of cloth under her arms. Quickly, the two zombies made as much space as they could between them; maybe another time.

"Ladybug, get your ass back in those blankets--it's cold as _balls_ here." Hidan stated.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes, _'Who's parential now, hm, Kisame?'_

"Well, why don't I come and share with you?' Fuu suggested, "It's not like I don't have enough...you guys steal blankets every time we stop..."

"That's because I know what it's like to have hypothermia--you'll be grateful when you're older." Kakuzu retorted.

Hidan gigled, "Yeah, when you're joints are all fucked up and arthritic like his."

"Shut up before I tie you up with these blankets and toss you into the sea."

"Haha, _make me,_ you cheap bastard. Like you'd waste blankets on that."

_'What an idiot...,'_ Kakuzu mused affectionately, _'How'd I end up with him?'_

Regardless, Fuu dumped her bundle of blankets on them, dragging the rest of her share over and swaddling herself against the small of Kakuzu's back. Hidan draped a few over her and Kakuzu and then some on himself, the wind howling louder and louder. Yet, inside, Kakuzu fet at peace; he didn't have to understand what was going on, or even their next mood. He was tired of being tired--and Hidan made him feel alive and Fuu made him feel human. _That's_ what mattered. That's all that ever had mattered.

"Hey," Hidan whispered, "Maybe later we can--"

"Don't think I didn't see you guys earlier. I'm not _that_ naive, you know." Fuu interjected, a smirk crystal clear in her voice.

Hidan gasped in mock embarrassment while Kakuzu rumbled with a low laugh; this right here was all that mattered.

_'I think I'll tell him more tomorrow...yes, I will. And that I might just love him...just a little, maybe...'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved my Fuu Fighters enough to make this multi chaptered; super causal so maybe more chapters in the future (going with snippets of life on our fugitives because they have no destination in sight). 
> 
> As always, comments and constructive criticism are appreciated. Stay warm and make some blanket cocoons, folks!

**Author's Note:**

> There'll be more, ah, spicy KakuHida for Valentines Day ;3
> 
> As always, comments and constructive criticism are appreciated!
> 
> P.S~ Fuu's got entomology and ecology down to a T (maybe not like Zetsu, but she knows her stuff); all these references are from my own field labs, just for some fun. Orthoptera are hoppers (crickets, grasshoppers) and Coleoptera are beetles.


End file.
